This last week has been one full of a lot of emotions, stress, and frustrations. In some ways, diapers makes it easier, because I have one less thing to worry about, I can just let go. In other ways it can make things harder when you’re worried about diapers being noticed, whether it’s the smell or the bulk. Or the worry about being able to change when you need to. Due to that, I had reduced my time in diapers over the past week, until eventually I wasn’t in them at all. I know that is the opposite of what I said I’d be looking to do, but let me give you an idea of has been going on.
Lately I’ve been stressed at work about a number of things include, but not limited to financial issues, my injured ankle (from my trip to Colorado), and problems with my girlfriend. It’s hard to force ones self to make more money, but you can try to budget better, which I have been trying for. In some regard savings are building up, but it never seems to be fast enough, or in large enough amounts of money.
I hurt my ankle on labor day weekend in Colorado. It’s not broken or anything, but it’s strained bad enough that I can’t do a lot of active things I like to do, that help me deal with stress. From biking, to workout classes, to dancing. All of these things are difficult if not impossible due to the pain. All I can do with that unfortunately, is to take care of my ankle and hope it heals up quickly.
Then to the biggest thing on my mind lately, my girlfriend and I… we’ve been dating since late June, and we’ve definitely had lots of fun together. Hanging out, going on trips, playing videogames, cooking, I love it. We’ve had a blast doing all the things we’ve done. Have we disagreed? Fought? Yea, I mean, who a hasn’t? We always got past it though. The real issue ended up being something completely different. She is, and has been madly in love with me. It’s obvious in what she tells me, her actions, and more. The issue is, I only see her as a friend. As much as I care about her, love spending time with her, I am not now nor have I been romantically attracted to her. With the drastic difference in how we felt for each other, I knew it couldn’t last nor end well. After thinking about it a lot, I decided we needed to talk.
I invited her over this last Saturday and we talked about us. Although we both want to try to stay friends, we have broken up at this point. I had a number of friends who have been there for me since the breakup happened, which has helped a lot, but right now, I’m just trying to organize my life, figure things out, and see where things go. I don’t think I’ll be posting for a while, especially since I won’t be in diapers often if at all.
You are all always welcome to message me on yahoo messenger or send me emails at firstname.lastname@example.org. Perhaps someday I’ll be back in diapers full-time, or perhaps not, but we never can truly know what the future holds. We just need to ride things out, see what happens, and make the best of it. <3